Oh knee, oh my

I will be seeing an orthopedics physician on Thursday, one that specializes in knees. I need help and I need it badly. I ended up going back to my primary care doctor who told me that I have been doing way too much. He could tell by my bruising, the fact that it was going down my leg and not staying localized in my knee area. He ordered me to stay off my feet.

Come again?

That’s right. I am not allowed to walk except when it is ABSOLUTELY necessary and even then, I MUST use my crutches. What a bother! I feel so inadequate. I hate not being able to help my crew at work. Friday, there were so many little things that I wanted to get up and do. Simple things, easy things, seemingly insignificant things that in reality, amounted to lost time if not done immediately. I couldn’t do them, though. Major suckage.

Beyond that, I hate that I am not able to walk my beloved dog. I hate that I can’t run. No running! And no volunteering. No putting on comfortable shoes and seeing where my walking and DART pass might take me. All the things that make me happy, just taken away from me. Frustration station.

This weekend, I’ve watched a lot of football and cleaned up a lot of my social media sites, including this blog. I am still optimistic that my knee will heal sooner rather than later (although it has already been TWO WEEKS) and that I will be back to my normal, happy life in no time. Meanwhile, I plan to continue blogging, I am trying to take calligraphy up, and I need to study more French. I also need to find modified workouts that I can do without involving my knees. I just cannot let my days waste away. That is the absolute worse.

Trying to stay positive!

Edit: You know you’ve watched a lot of soccer when you’re American and you accidentally called it “football” instead of soccer. Oy.

Pain and love

Last night, I fell asleep on the couch while watching tv. Dustin was out walking Canelo Dog. I woke up this morning covered by a blanket, a pillow underneath my head, and the cold pack that was on my knee when I fell asleep was gone. That Dustin guy. Is he a sweetheart or what?

My knee has not really gotten much better these last few days and now I’m starting to worry. After my first doctor visit, yeah, it improved. The swelling went down and it did not hurt as much. Since then, though? I feel that it is about the same. It’s probably my own damn fault for doing more than I should. Walking too much at work, not using my crutches at all times, not cold packing it enough.

I cannot wait to see the physical therapist. According to their website, the goal of physical therapy is to help the patient “return to activities that have become difficult or impossible due to injury” and the “elimination or reduction of pain related to the areas of the body affected”. Please get me back to running, walking dogs, and being able to do my job. Please take the pain away. I have such high hopes for this appointment. Please don’t be a disappointment.

Returning to Dustin, he has been anything but a disappointment throughout this. He has walked my dog, allows me to sit on my ass while he brings things to me, he constantly asks how I am feeling, and reminds me not to do more than I should.

A month ago, he and I had a huge fight that I never wrote about. Really, any fight between us is “huge” because we never fight. This one seemed especially epic because I ended up sleeping on the couch that night and thought I would be moving out. It was bad. We said some not-so-nice things to one another, which we both meant, but probably could have expressed more tactfully if it had been a more civil conversation. That’s our problem: we don’t express our problems and instead let our feelings and annoyances build up until we both erupt. Thank goodness we are both rational and thank goodness we both love each other.

He has expressed that love thoroughly and I do not know that he knows how much I appreciate it. What more can I do?

 

Hmmph

I thought I was finding balance in my life. I was waking up early on weekends and being productive, well before my boyfriend woke up. I was discovering new places to visit on my own by walking and taking public transportation. I was running, I was going to the gym, I was volunteering. It was all so great!

Then I injured my knee.

So what does a person who depends so much on her knee (on her legs, in general) do when there is an injury? I mean, I am constantly on my feet at work. The volunteer work that I do involves walking dogs. Walking is a significant mode of transportation for me. Walking my dog is the best way to start my day and the perfect way to unwind at the end of it. Obviously, I love running. That’s what I do, that’s my hobby, that’s my workout. What do I do without two functional legs?!

This is one of those times. It is time to handle what life hands. I have to stay positive and use the time that I would have used to run to do other things. Maybe I can do other exercises, sleep more, practice calligraphy, learn more French, get out and take more photos. Who knows? The possibilities are endless. I have so much opportunity, it is ridiculous.

Well, I have an appointment with a physical therapist on Friday. I hope it goes well, I hope I am not told that I have to limit my activity for a frustrating amount of time. I hope I am shown exercises that are safe for me to do. I hope we can speed up the recovery process.

We shall see.

For now, I am incredibly grateful for the kindness and patience of those around me. From random strangers who hold doors for me, carry my crutches, give up their seats, carry my purchases… All for me. I am grateful. My coworkers picking up where I am slacking. Dustin walking my dog and keeping me safe and checking on me. Uff. I fall in love with him all over again.

Keep the positive vibes going this week.

 

Wide awake

I love being up before seven on my days off. No sarcasm, I really do love it. Mornings are my favorite. I love the lighting in my apartment. I love stepping outside and seeing all the animals prepping for their days. The squirrels running about. All the birds chirping and flapping. The turtles swimming here and there. I love that the clamor of humans has yet to get going. And now that it’s (unofficially) summer in Texas, I love how cool the mornings are.

I should have gone for a run this morning, but I’m too busy taking the morning in. Soon, it will be too late (because it’s too hot) for me to go. It’s all right, though. Tonight, I’m running at least three miles with a running club I just joined. It will be my first time running with them. They formed last year so I am sure other members are already familiar with one another. That’s okay, though. I’m just going to fit myself in!

We are already almost three weekends into June, which should be a wake-up call to me. I cannot let this summer pass me by without doing everything I want to do! This happens every year: I have high hopes for the summer, but then it passes me by without me even realizing it! No excuses this year. I am only on-call once this summer and as far as I know, I will not be working any weekends. Gotta make things happen.

Okay. I need to go enjoy the fact that I am up this early. Toodles!

 

Sunday night

Every night, I procrastinate. I wait and wait and wait to walk my dog because there always seems to be so much else to do. Then, when I can wait no longer, I drag myself to do it and complain a little in my mind. Once I’m out there walking him, though… I love every second. I love being outdoors. I love that it’s just me and him. I love the sounds and the feel of being out there.

The property that we live on is very well kept. There is a pond in the middle of it, which we cross during every walk we take. There’s a natural spring with a soft little roar and lily pads growing from its depths. There are trees, there are turtles, there is thriving grass. It’s all so perfect.

During our walk tonight, it started to rain. I didn’t expect it, but I didn’t mind it because it felt cool and refreshing. Sprinklers also went off on us. Definitely didn’t expect those. Canelo seemed aloof to it all so if he wasn’t bothered by it, there was no reason for me to be either.

I don’t feel ready to start another work week. It’s ridiculous because the past two weekends have been long weekends. There was Memorial Day weekend and last weekend, I went to Denver. I guess I just haven’t done enough unwinding and relaxing. I unwind best by writing or creating or running. I haven’t been doing much of any.

Here’s to a better week!

Lost and found

I lost my camera’s memory card. Why am I always losing things?

I realized it was missing last Thursday night. Yes, almost an entire week ago. The reason I noticed was because I was packing for my trip to Colorado (more on that later) and was considering taking Bon Qui Qui (my camera) with me. I checked the battery and then checked for her memory card, but the latter was gone. Dang it.

It wasn’t in its usual places. I take my camera to work almost daily and sometimes upload photos while I’m there. I figured I must have left it in one of the computers there. Oh well. No time to go look for it. It was late Thursday night, I had an early flight the next morning, and wouldn’t be back to work until Tuesday. Guess I’d have to wait until then to look for it and Bon Qui Qui wouldn’t be making the trip after all. Probably a good thing since I was already on the verge of overpacking.

As soon as I got to work on Tuesday (early, as usual due to the train schedule), I looked in all the computers. Nope. I asked around for it. Negative. I got down on myself because I figured that I had really lost it. Sometimes when I’m in a hurry and I have time to take my memory card out of a computer but not enough time to place it back in my camera, I’ll just tuck it in my pocket and go on with my day. My fear was that I had left it in a jacket pocket and as a result, it was lost forever.

Our company gave the entire staff, fifty or so employees, jackets last winter. They’re all the same color and have the company logo embroidered on them. We all wear each other’s jackets at work because unless you bother to look for a name on the tag (who has time for that?), you can’t tell whose is whose. Your jacket can end up in a different department and you won’t see it for months. You’ll just go on wearing someone else’s jacket and that’s fine.

I know winter is over and I shouldn’t be wearing jackets, but boy, that hospital gets cold! Especially in the CT room because we like to keep the CT machine from overheating. So I do wear jackets in the summer and I may have left the memory card in one of its pockets and it could be lost forever. Sadness.

Well, this morning I was digging around my backpack, the one I took to Colorado, searching for lip gloss, and I found it! I found the stinkin’ memory card! Oh my goodness, my day was made. Then… Then I dug through the bag I carried yesterday in search of my Kindle and I found Dustin’s headphones!

I love love love his headphones. They stay in place while I run, unlike my own. I hadn’t seen them in a few weeks, though, so I figured that I had left them on my desk and that Dustin had taken them back to work with him. I didn’t dare ask him. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to bring them back to me. They’re his headphones, after all. But now I have them back and I’m excited to be able to use them again! What a lucky morning!

I will be getting Dustin new headphones, by the way. Really good ones. His half-birthday is coming up at the end of the month and that would be the perfect little gift.

All right. My day has already been made. Time to jump on this train and get to work!