So much love

Key to happiness: surround yourself with people who make you happy.

Measurement of wealth and success: the ability to form and maintain happy relationships.

Lovebirds.

This man I developed a crush on four years ago and started dating shortly thereafter. We have ups and downs in our relationship as does any couple, but the happy times far outnumber the bad. He makes me feel beautiful and special and loved. I still get giddy about seeing him. Four years later and he still fascinates me and inspires me to be a better person. All I want is to make him happy and to make him feel as wonderful as he makes me feel.

This still happens every night.

He has been wishing me sweet dreams for almost four years. He tells me that he loves me multiple times each and every day. I do not take it for granted. I know just how lucky I am to have him.

Dustin and Smartie

He not only loves and cares about me, he also loves and cares about my babies. That alone is enough for me to love him to death.

Yes, I love my Dustin. He is my family now and he is my family’s family now. Every time my Mom tells me that she loves both of us, my heart melts. She loves me and she loves him because he loves me. 
She had already told me that she loved me. Then she said “yall” to include Dustin.

I have the sweetest mom. She loves everyone and helps everyone. She helps me, my brother, my nephew, my cousins. She will help Dustin and she will help my friends. Her love and kindness know no limits.

I also have the greatest Dad on the planet.

Little Daisy and Dad

He spoiled me as much as he could. He actually still does. He always comes to my rescue when I need him. He built a cat tree for my cats. He drove miles and miles to College Station just to fix my bicycle for me. He cracks me up with his goofy jokes. He will drop whatever he is doing if I ask him to when I need him.

Birthday text from my Dad

People may say they have a great mother. Some may say they have a great father. Who can say that they have both? This girl can.

Of course, my family is so much more than just my parents. My goodness… my cousins!
So many cousins! Friends forever!

The young ones…

Me and Delilah

The ones closer to my age…

The Trio

The ones in between…

Me and Clarissa are such fly girls!
I love them all and will forever be bonded to them through blood and through a never-ending friendship!

Silly faces!

There are also the friends that we actually choose. Damn, I have done an awesome job choosing them!

We’re the four best friends that anyone could ever have!

Best friends since middle school! The miles and the years will never ruin our friendship!

New friendships that make me think, “Why didn’t we meet YEARS ago?!”

If there is one thing I am doing right it’s choosing the players in my life well. They are all constant sources of smiles and laughter. Hugs and fun. Happiness surrounds me and I am absolutely floored by it.

I am such a happy and wealthy daisy.

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Healing

Today, I got Cholula’s ashes back. Her remains now rest on my shelf along with those of her brother Ferecito, whom she only met briefly back in 2008.

I wish the life span of ferrets was longer. Five to seven years is not enough time to spend with them! I say that, but then recall the massive amount of memories I made with my princess. Enough to fill my heart and keep it warm for a lifetime.

I am doing better. I still have not gone a day without crying, but that’s okay. I cry because I love her. I cry because I miss her and when the thought of never seeing her again hits me, it hits me pretty damn hard. But then, I let all the memories-the happy happy memories-resurface. And I smile again.

Again, I am thankful that overall, I am a positive person. It helps me overcome the negative stages of the grieving process, so that I can still be a functional and happy person.

I am also thankful for everyone that surrounds me. My friends, my family, my coworkers, my surviving critters, and my boyfriend. My friends who have taken me out and kept me company. My family who has made life at home as comfortable as can be. My coworkers for their thoughtful words and their understanding. My critters for reminding me that I’m still a momma with plenty of loving and caring left to do. My amazing boyfriend for his sympathy and compassion and patience.

How lucky am I?

Cholula Belle, my sweet, adorable, lovable, wonderful, precious little princess. I miss you so much. I will never forget you, pretty girl, and will always be thankful for all the joy you brought into my life during your much too short life with me. I hope I can honor you well by continuing to help animals in need and by sharing stories about you as long as I live. I hope you know how much you meant to me and will continue to mean to me. I hope you know that you will forever be remembered and irreplaceable. Precious princess. Kisses, my baby!

Cholula

Warning: this is a very raw post, almost immediately following the death of one of my beloved babies, no time for me to process or make sense out of things.

I’ve been through it before. Losing a pet. It never gets easy, though. No matter how many times you’ve been through it. Each critter is so unique and special, that you grieve one just as immensely no matter how many times you have grieved before.

I deal with loss of pets on an almost daily basis at my work. There have been times when I am stressed to the max at work and then find myself passing a distraught pet owner. I almost always think, “My goodness, I need to suck it up. Things could be worse. I at least have healthy pets.”

Now I’m the distraught owner. The heartbroken momma. It’s me. It’s my turn. And I am hurting. Bad.

When I got my first dog (Shiba) as a child, I remember rushing to the library to find a book about dogs. I wanted to know how long they lived. No internet in those days for a quick search. The answer back then (almost twenty years ago) was approximately ten years. When I read this, I thought, “Oh, okay. When the time comes, I’ll be an adult and I will be able to handle death well and accept it.”

Silly little Daisy. It was okay to be naive. You were only an eight-year-old.

When Shiba finally passed (she made it to thirteen, ya stupid book!), I was on the verge of turning 21. Of course, I cried for days. I was just as miserable as I would have been as an eight-year-old. I just turned 29 last week and once again, I will be bawling my eyes over next few days.

I will think about Cholula constantly. I will feel sorry for myself. I will feel an immense emptiness. I will voluntarily become a recluse. My eyes and my heart will be heavy. I will more than likely smile and laugh at things that make me do so, but deep down, I will be mourning.

I already miss her so much! Her kisses, her bouncy gait, the way she begged for treats at my leg, her fearlessness when climbing my bed and couch, her constant attempts to escape, the sound of her little feet running across my wood floor, her little round ears, her cute little paws.

Oh, tiny little furry princess. Cute, lovable little thing. Mommy loves you so much!

I can’t.