Finn

I’m home alone on a Friday night with absolutely no intention of going out or doing anything. Really, I wish I could just go to bed, but since I took a nap this afternoon, it may be a while before I actually do so. I might take a sleep aid if I’m not snoozing by midnight, though.

I can’t do anything because I’m on-call for emergency surgeries. I have a clean pair of scrubs sitting on my record player, ready for me to change into in case I am needed. Of course, although the money is good, I’d rather stay home bored than have to go to work. It’s not that I do not love my job, but having to go to work would mean that there is an animal in a painful situation.

Before sitting down to write this, I watched the latest episode of Glee, the one where they pay tribute to Cory Monteith via his character, Finn Hudson. Goodness, I cried almost the entire time.

How do I explain what that show and his character have meant to me? This already sounds cheesy.

I will just have to take you back to the beginning. Here goes…

The show premiered in June 2009. Fox only aired the pilot episode, but it received great reviews, and there was a lot of buzz about it. The full season finally started airing in the fall and was well worth the wait. I was absolutely hooked.

I think that 2009 was also the year that Facebook really took off. I know for a fact that I started using it more than I had in the previous five years, mainly due to the excitement of being able to upload photos straight from my phone. What an innovation!

I mention Facebook and this entire time frame because it all leads to my relationship with Dustin. Fall of 2009 was when he caught my attention, via Facebook. I believe he started posting more often and the vast majority of things he shared led to me crushing on him. Posts about music, sports, reading, and his liberal opinions. He seemed like the perfect guy! It didn’t hurt that he was also a total cutie-pie!

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he posted that he decided to watch an episode of Glee. At that point, the season was already several episodes in, so he downloaded the ones he had missed. He loved the show. Dammit. As if I didn’t already like the guy enough! Now he was a fan of my favorite television show and what (straight) guy would openly admit loving such a show? The answer: an awesome one.

Unfortunately, Dustin had a girlfriend. As with most of the crushes I have had throughout my life, I figured this wouldn’t lead to a thing even though I really REALLY liked him.

We ended up exchanging comments here and there on Facebook and eventually, exchanged numbers (yikes!) as well. I figured we could be friends. Maybe I would get to know him better and realize that he wasn’t all that great. Or maybe we truly were a great match and he would realize that too!

He texted me all throughout the month of December. I have never given my number to a guy who actually used it and didn’t make me wait for replies! Dustin immediately texted me and he did so every day. I kept falling for him. I was helpless.

On Christmas Eve, I was at my grandparents’ with my family celebrating the holiday. Dustin texted me throughout the evening. I had my cousin/best bud Jonathan with me when I received each text. Of course, Jonathan knew how much I liked Dustin and how each message I received from him made me happier and happier.

At one point in the evening, either Dustin or I brought up Glee. He asked me which character I related to the most. I didn’t have an answer. I asked Jonathan who he thought I was most like. He replied Brittany because of how goofy she was. I texted that reply to Dustin and he disagreed. He said I was too smart to be a Brittany. Aww, shucks!

Naturally, I then asked Dustin who he related to. His response: both Mr. Schuester and Finn. He wouldn’t tell me why, though. He said he would tell me later. Weirdo. Why wouldn’t he just explain?

This is a photo of Jonathan and me both confused by Dustin’s response that night! Hahahaha We literally took this right after Dustin sent me his reply!

Uhhhh… What?!

Dustin and I ended up meeting the following day. Two days later, he posted this as his Facebook status:

Awwwww…

Two days after that, he and I became a couple (after he broke up with his previous girlfriend, of course).

He finally explained to me what he meant by saying that he felt like Mr. Schuester and Finn. He related to them because they were both in relationships, but were falling for other girls. Schuester was married, but falling for Emma. Finn was dating Quinn, but falling for Rachel. Dustin had a girlfriend, but was apparently falling for me. This all made for a very giddy daisy!
Dustin and I continued to watch the show and I always rooted for each couple because I saw my own relationship in theirs. As both the show and our relationship progressed, however, I saw more similarities with Finn and Rachel. Call it crazy, but whenever they seemed doomed as a couple, I worried about Dustin and myself, especially as we started having arguments and trust issues (we’re good now, by the way!).
They loved each other so much, though. It was so cute. Finn was also very supportive of Rachel and put up with her insane ideas and over-the-top personality. Dustin always did the same for me. Our mellow men. Our mellow, handsome, supportive, loving men.
I wanted the show to end with Finn and Rachel destined to live happily ever after. I wanted them to finally get married! Now, that won’t happen and it makes me sad. They were my favorite couple. They were Dustin and me. Dustin even told me that when he started falling for me, he would listen to Cory Monteith’s Glee cover of I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore over and over again while driving his car.
I cried all throughout the tribute episode, but was absolutely distraught when Rachel finally made an appearance. Her song. And knowing that Cory Monteith was Lea Michele’s own “Finn”? Ugh. So heartbreaking.
[sigh] If and when Glee returns, I’m not so sure that I will be able to watch it.
Bye, Cory Monteith. So talented. I will listen to your covers and miss you much. 😦

Dogs. They make me cry.

I walk my sweet Canelo Dog at least twice a day. And I mean, I walk him. I do not simply take him outside, ask him to potty, and come right back in. We actually walk for 20-30 minutes each time.

When the weather is nice and I have time to spare, I take Canelo on even longer walks. Today is my day off, so I do have extra time on my hands. The temperatures have finally lowered and the sun isn’t killer either. Canelo’s birthday is tomorrow and it happens to be National Walk Your Dog Week. All the more reason for a long walk this morning.

When we go on long walks, Canelo and I pass a Senior Living community. More often than not, we cross paths with one if its residents, a gentleman who gets around on a motorized wheelchair while his little Shih Tzu strolls along his side. I believe he’s a war veteran; he wears a navy blue cap with seals and the American flag patched onto it. His little dog is a firecracker who barks incessantly whenever he sees Canelo. The man quietly, but forcibly, tells him to behave. It’s all very cute.

It warms my heart to know that this man has a companion and friend (the best kind). He is so devoted to his dog. He always hangs on tightly to that leash. He wheels out of the way if he sees that a big dog is passing by and might get too close to his little one. He talks to him, tells him to quiet down, instructs him on which way to go, and when it’s necessary, asks him to jump back on his lap.

This morning, I expected to see them as I always do. As I rounded the corner leading to the Senior community and got closer to it, I spotted a gentleman in a wheelchair still relatively close to the residence building. Canelo and I continued to approach him and I soon realized that his chair had not moved. He simply had it parked in that corner of the paths. It became clear that he was not intending to move, so I had Canelo turn onto the grass in order to avoid walking too close to the gentleman, my fear being that his little dog would get all worked up.

There was no little dog.

My heart broke. I could not bear the thought of this man losing his beloved dog. I wondered what else this man has lost throughout the years. I wondered if that dog was all he had left. I wondered if that dog was his biggest source of happiness or maybe the only one. Thoughts of loneliness and heartache entered my mind. I thought about the pain I have felt when I have lost a pet and imagined that it must be so much worse for an elderly person. I realized that there was no point in him moving from that spot because he no longer had a dog that needed walking. It was all so heartbreaking.

I looked back thinking that I may not have been observant enough and that the dog may have actually been there. He was not.

There is one thing I should warn everyone about. If I am ever emotional, I will cry on the spot. It does not matter where I am, I have no shame. I do not care who sees me or what they will think of me. I simply cry. Of course, I cried this morning. With my own dog walking ahead of me, I cried for that man and his dog. Other people walked right by me, and I cried.

I don’t know why I did it, but I looked back one more time. The man had not moved and was still parked in his corner. There was a second man in a wheelchair now, though. He had stopped to talk to the first man. Within seconds, the first man finally moved from his parked spot and made his way towards the residence building. The second man headed down the sidewalk towards me.

Lo, and behold! A spunky Shih tzu jumped out of his lap and onto the sidewalk! I had mistaken the first man for the second. The little dog is okay! He strutted right along the sidewalk, happy as can be, his dad wheeling right next to him. His tail wagged as he walked, just as it always does, and he looked around observing other people, the squirrels, the air.

I continued to cry. Happy tears. With all that is going on in this world, I felt that all is okay in the universe because this man still has his little dog. I cried for my own dog and for the fact that I am so damn lucky to be celebrating thirteen years with him. Life can be that simple. It can give you such trivial sources of extreme happiness that can completely change your mind frame for the better. You have to notice them, though. Acknowledge them and let them make you happy.

I hope everyone has a happy day. Walk your dogs, y’all.