I done did it.

One year ago today, I pretended that I was sick, called out of work (something I never do, even when I truly am ill), got all dolled up, and went on a job interview.

I was desperate, y’all. I could not handle life anymore, working from 7:00 am until at least 7:00 pm… every… damn… day. I was continuously exhausted, drained, discouraged, constantly too overwhelmed to actually do anything enjoyable when I wasn’t working. Most days off, I was resting up, trying to unwind. I wanted to revert to my anti-social tendencies from years before, declining any invitation to get out.

I’m trying to excuse my dishonesty. You cannot blame me, can you? I was miserable. I am so much happier right now than I was a year ago. I really am. You cannot blame me when my little lie led to happiness. No way. Maybe the universe gave me a little slap on the wrist that day, though, because when my interview was over, I went to the bus stop, called my bestie to tell her all about it, was totally distracted, ended up getting on the wrong bus, realized that I left my keys on the bus stop bench, had to ride back around to that bus stop to grab my keys, waited for another bus (the correct one this time), and finally made it home hours later. Thank goodness it was a gorgeous day!

….

For whatever reason, most likely boredom, I went through my Instagram photos yesterday. I got off work a few hours early and had nothing to do except wait to head off to The Good Life’s show in Deep Ellum later in the evening. So, yes, I looked through my photos from the last year or so and smiled repeatedly, with almost each and every one. I love the life I live. My life is fun. Yeeeeeeesss.

The show last night was A M A Z I N G. Not only was the music fantastic – obviously, it was Tim Kasher for goodness’ sake – but I was also in great company. My homebody of a boyfriend actually decided to come with and an awesome friend from work, who likely loves Tim even more than I do, attended as well. The two have met before, but I do not know that they had ever spoken more than a few words to each other. No matter because they got along, we talked and laughed together while waiting for the show to start, and the boyfriend totally did not mind that she and I took off on our own to fangirl like cray. It was the best time I have had in a long time, and that is saying a lot because as mentioned, my life is GOOD. Man.

There you have it: last night can be a representation of what has come of the decision I made a year ago. My dishonesty led me to having an enjoyable life again and has even introduced me to incredible, awesome, interesting, fun new friends. Friends that I have drank many a night away with, attended sporting events with, and, had my face rocked off with. Friends that I become increasingly grateful for with each passing day. I cannot believe how fortunate I am sometimes. For serious.

May all of this serve as a reminder to trust my gut every now and then and to be bold enough to do what needs to be done.

Holla.

All good?

Oh, life. What are you doing to me now?

I knew that changes were imminent, I could sense it, strongly so, and this is saying a lot because I do not usually have a feel for such things. I am building new relationships, while others are getting weak, and one is oh so steady, but being thrown a curve ball.

I found out a couple weeks ago that one of my best friends – who had also been my coworker for the last two years – landed a new dream job that will actually take her back to her home state of Colorado and, obviously, away from me here in Texas. Blagh… No. The truth is that I am thrilled for her and very proud of her, of course, but it is also inevitable for me to throw myself a pity party because of how much I’ll miss her, both at work and outside of work. The fact that she was offered the job and has to move almost immediately – like, this month! – has not made things easier. [sigh] I am confident, though, that we will remain best friends regardless of the distance and regardless of not seeing each other practically every day (like we do now). And, um, hello! Like I needed another excuse to fly out to Colorado? I am going to visit her ASAP and often! I cannot wait!

Anyhow, I now find it odd to look forward to the remainder of the year now. My marathon, the new Star Wars film, shows featuring some of my favorite musicians, festivals, this holiday, that holiday, the next holiday, and the holiday after that? I won’t be sharing ANY of those experiences with my best friend. And looking forward to them means looking forward to a time when she will no longer be just a few blocks north of me. She will be 800 miles away! It’s so strange. Can we just freeze time? Or at least make it slow down? Please?

If you know me or have read earlier posts, you can likely guess that this is not the first time this year that I have made this wish. 2015…

2015 has been a tricky year filled with many changes and many questions. I am somewhat nervous to start thinking about 2016. I gave myself a deadline, one that will arrive early next year, and I fear that I am not ready to meet it. I get distracted by focusing on other aspects of my life, because they are much more entertaining. More enjoyable. Isn’t that what life’s about, though? It’s not meant to be complicated, I don’t think. It’s meant to be lived and enjoyed, especially when you, by both chance and by the circumstances you have created, find yourself with the means to do so. Right? That’s what I’m choosing.

The changes to adapt to, the decisions to be made, the challenges to face? They never stop coming, do they? But I’ll be good. My foundation is strong, and if I keep my heart well-nourished and my mind well-conditioned, I’ll be good. That’s all there is to it.

That’s all there’s to this entry as well. Toodles.