It has been over a decade since I decided that life is too short to have kids. Now I’m starting to think that life may also be too short to train for marathons all the damn time.
I am well.
I am kicking my mental illness’s butt. I have been for the past two months. Looking back, I think the major turning point was Valentine’s Day, actually, a day I thought I would dread.
I met a woman about my age who was absolutely broken that night. She was distraught, crying, overwhelmed, and afraid. I saw so much of my former self in her and it hit me how far I had already come at that point. The contrast between us was eye-opening… I was comforting her! I was feeling well enough already to be supportive of someone else!
I realized that if I could improve by that amount in that short span of time, I could just keep doing so and be much better sooner rather than later.
And here I am.
I am enjoying life, enjoying my friendships, enjoying being myself. I AM MYSELF AGAIN! I am certainly enjoying the spring season, the warmer days, the sunnier skies, the greener trees.
I am happy again.
I have cut toxic people out of my life, I am not going out of my way to be nice to people who don’t deserve my energy, I am excluding those who I don’t necessarily want present in all the fun things that I do. What a difference! So this is growing up?
I am down to just one medication and looking forward to starting to wean myself off it in just two months, right around the official beginning of summer, my favorite season.
I am only seeing my therapist once a month now. I saw her once in March, once this month, and have a scheduled session early in May. After this next one? I don’t know. Stretch it out to six weeks? I cannot even believe I am thinking about it. When all this started, I was seeing her twice a week and would have gone even more frequently if time (both our schedules) allowed it! When I couldn’t see her, I would text her. Gosh, she’s been amazing. I am so lucky she was the first therapist I reached out to and was immediately a perfect match for me.
Anyhow, thank you so much for reading. Keep your heads up. I appreciate your support.