I’ve got spirit, how bout you?!

Thank you for all the love on my last post. It is definitely nice to know that messages of health and compassion towards animals are well received. This world is not so bad after all.

Folks, true to my nature, I am beyond myself with happiness as of lately (save for a rough day recently that was immediately followed by a spectacular one!). This happens every year. Spring awakens me, I am inspired, I am aroused, I am motivated. The longer days, the extra doses of sunshine, and the added warmth all play to my favor. This is the time of year that I am my busiest, most productive, and most social self.

Already, every weekend through June is spoken for (the only exception being Memorial Day Weekend, but maybe I can escape to Mexico because my soul is longing for a swim in my river). Volunteering, activism, concerts, festivals, parties, celebrations, 5Ks. Oy. I am not complaining. I love it.

The trouble is this, however: it never lasts.

Year after year, the happiness dissipates. It ceases to be effortless. I have to work to make it happen. Why?

Early last year – if you read back then and remember – I was very much focused on self-actualization and becoming my best self. I went on to learn to take control and remove what was stressful and negative from my life, because only by doing so would the universe receive me as I am meant to be. Only then could I fully contribute and heal the world in my own way.

In July, I ended my six-year-long relationship, thinking that it would allow me to re-center and grow, even bloom! It did not, mostly due to the fact that I continued to live with him until just four weeks ago. He held me back, but I allowed him to. It was my own doing, I enabled him. I am not here to speak ill of him. This may disappoint you, but I refuse. I do it at times, jokingly, and immediately regret it. I cannot emphasize it enough: he is a great man, intelligent, interesting, funny, sweet, romantic, creative, handsome, and I do not know how he put up with me for so long. What I do know is that somewhere along the way, the harmony between us went missing. Whose “fault” was that?

Avoiding the tangent.

Now that I have my own space, now that we are no longer roommates, now that we are friends, I am jumping back on my path. This time, I plan to stay on it on the permanent. For good. For evah evah.

Because the universe is abundant and cares for me, I was gifted with a Wellness Expo being held at the town conference center this weekend, only a couple blocks from my apartment. There were vendors selling energized crystals, psychics providing intuitive readings, life coaches, yoga instructors, the juicing crowd, the aromatherapy lot, manifestation masters, you name it! Everything up my spiritual alley!

I was initially planning to attend Saturday only, thinking that I would spend today with family. My parents ended up making their own escape to Mexico this weekend, though – those lucky punks – so I made sure to score a ticket for today as well.

I am so glad I did. There was much to learn, essential knowledge to absorb! Gosh, let me get my notebook out… I attended the following lectures:

  • Chakra Health and Lymph Drainage Oh, the importance of that second chakra… I went back to the exhibition hall to purchase crystals to help balance it! Also, managing the energy we intake from food. Go vegan, y’all. For real!
  • We are Channels Every Day! Being in the flow, allowing ourselves to be spiritual and experience what life has to share with us. Listening to our guides and signs. Opening the heart chakra to connect with others, especially those we think we dislike or those whom we lost our connection to.
  • Spirit Speaks We are spiritual beings having human experiences. Our spine is our antenna, transmitting and receiving information, powered by our brain, heart, and spirit. We can use this every day to improve our lives. We live in a world of infinite opportunity to create abundance.
  • Practice Happiness and Vibrate Higher Creator vs Victim Mentality, Fixed Mindset vs Growth Mindset, Neuroplasticity, Positive Psychology (connecting, meditation, gratitude, compassion, focus, setting intention)
  • Power Language: You are What you Think and Say Our thoughts are magnetic. We are not victims, we are co-creators. We can visualize for others, hold a space for them. Everything you have or don’t have is a result of what you thought. Get the universe to shift!

    Amazing stuff, huh?!

    After the last lecture today, I ventured to the exhibition hall one final time because my gut had been telling me all weekend that I needed more amethyst. I went to a booth I had passed earlier because they had chunks of it reasonably priced. Obsidian, green aventurine, and moonstone also caught my eye. I picked my stones carefully and lovingly. Apparently, the vendor took note of this and as I was inspecting, he chose a decorative om (with a $25 price tag) for me to take home free a charge. He felt my energy and knew I would appreciate it, he said. I did. I absolutely did.

    What an experience!

    And what beautiful beginnings! This time, I will stay on this journey. It will be grand and the world will be better because of it. I am going to be the change.

    Message me if you would like more information on the speakers and presenters from this weekend. Also, follow me on Pinterest as I gather more ascension, meditation, crystal healing, chakra balancing, and yoga resources.

    Blessings!

    Thoughts on a Thursday night.

    I gave a guy my number.

    He asked me for it, and made sure to use it the very next day, a good thing since I myself wouldn’t have known how to proceed. I haven’t given a guy my number in seven years. This is new to me once more, just as it was when I was a young(er). Whoa, man.

    It has hit me like a ton of bricks that I do not know how to date. Color me clueless. The last time I did, I was in my mid-twenties. I am now in my early thirties, a somewhat different person with a significantly different outlook and entirely different expectations. The truth is, I don’t want to date casually. I do know that much. What a waste of time and energy. If shit is going to happen, then it will happen. The effort I am willing to put in will be minimal, just like it was with the fella, way back in 2009.

    He made it so easy. He asked for my number, he texted me every day, he asked to spend time with me, he asked me to be his girlfriend, he told me was falling in love with me. All this within two months. EASY. That is how it will have to be with any new potential relationship. Who bothers with wondering and playing the guessing game? Not this gal. Gross.

    New Guy will have to be direct and not keep me guessing.

    If anything, though, I am happy about this development because:

    • I am noticed, I can attract.
    • I was approachable.
    • I wasn’t trying. I had not noticed this guy until he was right in front of me dancing to Frank Sinatra.
    • I did not have to text him first. I was not even given the chance to think about him first, let alone be the one to initiate the messaging.

    Go Daisy, right? For real, though, this will likely not go anywhere. Hahaha. Okay by me, honestly. I still live with the fella after all, and this could only lead to awkwardness, something I would very much like to avoid. Awkward situations were my thing ten years ago – not so much anymore. So hooray for me, way to go, but let me get back to just doing my thing for now, mmmkay?

    My thing right now continues to be just becoming the best version of myself I can possibly be. I am becoming my happiest self as well. It is impressive how much happier I am since exiting a relationship that had become both draining and stressful. My inner spirit is so much more positive, hopeful, joyful. Also, I am damn proud of myself for being bold enough to walk away from a situation that was not adding to my joy. No settling here, folks. Now, at least once a week, I am tempted to share with anyone who will pay attention: I am so happy!

    It’s the truth. I am so happy.

    Happy Daisy days.

    There is more news to share, by the way!

    MexiBestie is moving back to Dallas! It is happening: I am getting my best friend back. Oh, life: there you go giving me exactly what I have asked for once more. You are amazing. It has been almost a year without her and that was long enough! Thank goodness her fiance lives here, it works to my advantage! Thank goodness her job made moves for this to happen, including re-imagining the territories she manages. This is incredible. Oh, man, it would have been so nice to have had her here when The Breakup happened. Ufff. Ah, well. I am getting her back soon and that’s all that matters!

    In other news, no pretty way to segue into this, I am reading a new book, E-Squared, by Pam Grout. The premise of the book is that there is an energy field all around us, and we are perfectly able to harness that energy to create our own reality. There is a series of nine experiments that readers are to perform in a span of twenty-one days to prove this to themselves. I am currently still reading background information, a few explanations here and there, and the author’s own testimony. I am hoping to start my own experimentation soon. Stay tuned! This could get exciting!

    I will likely not read tomorrow, however. I have been granted a four-day weekend with tomorrow being the first of my days off. Am I the luckiest gal or what? My plan is to ride the train to downtown Dallas and wander about the Dallas Museum of Art for a while. Lately, I have been absorbing just about everything that could possibly benefit me and so, I want to surround myself with beauty and allow it to inspire me. I plan on packing some art supplies and my camera to see what happens (until I get hungry). Then, a visit to my Mom’s and my Grandma’s will follow since they both live near downtown. Homecooked vegan Mexican food, here I come!

    Does that not sound lovely? I am very much looking forward to tomorrow. What a wonderful way to live!

    Be blessed!

    Come on, get happy.

    Brace yourselves. I am going to ramble my way through this one because it is all too much!

    Once again, I have sent my cues out to the universe and in turn, it has taken my signals and delivered what I needed.

    In my last entry, I wrote about wanting to become more involved with the Texas Humane Legislation Network. I did not hear back from them, which is not too surprising since they have their big annual conference happening in less than two weeks. I am sure the folks running the show are preoccupied as of lately and unable to tend to position requests. No matter, though, because I am officially in their directory and will simply await future opportunities. I am not too worried about it.

    Still, life came through and gave me a more immediate endeavor to pursue. The volunteer coordinator at Operation Kindness (the animal shelter I volunteer for) sent out an email last week asking for members to sign up for new committees. One committee will be dedicated to reading to children who visit the shelter, the other will focus on event/creative planning. I replied to her email to express interest in both and bam! Just like that, I am a committee member! Our first meeting is scheduled for Saturday morning and I am too pumped about it. Helping kids and being creative? Two things I love!

    Yaaaas.

    Matters are also well in the professional realm, I can gladly state. Last week, Bossman and SE (again, she is my friend, but also happens to be my supervisor) informed me that I was selected to participate in a special event being held by our company.

    Let me back up here.

    I work at an animal hospital. This hospital is one of over 700 nationwide that are owned and operated by a corporation. This corporation sponsors a local minor league baseball team that happens to be an affiliate of my beloved Texas Rangers. Pretty cool, right? Okay. So, as a token of their appreciation for the sponsorship, the Frisco RoughRiders (i.e., the aforementioned minor league team) have invited local hospitals in our corporate network to nominate employees to attend a private batting practice at their stadium…

    Yup. I was chosen! The sports fangirl in me is absolutely stoked. The hardworking employee in me is humbled and honored. This is going to be fun. The date is set for next month, I will be attending along with SE, and I cannot wait. Wow. Sometimes, when such things fall right into my lap, I feel that I have all the luck in the world. Wouldn’t you?

    But enough about me.

    There is no denying that I am happiest when the people I love are happiest. One of the most important people in my life, someone I love very dearly, is my best friend, jokingly nicknamed MexiBestie.

    Oh, what a month she’s having!

    Less than two weeks ago, her younger sister gave birth to a beautiful little girl, making MexiBestie an auntie for the first time! I typically do not think newborns are cute. They usually look a hot mess, in my opinion. Oh, not this little one. I am not kidding when I say that she is precious – she has the cutest hair, dark and already full, along with a tiny, adorable smile. MexiBestie is beyond herself and totally in love with the baby, it’s so sweet. I am getting a kick out of how obsessed with her she is, it is so entertaining, especially since I have totally been in that position and was a whackadoo myself. Haha. But seriously, what a joy for her entire family!

    It gets better, though.

    Ugh, how can I express the greatness of the following news?

    MEXIBESTIE IS ENGAGED!!!!

    That’s right. During a weekend trip to New York City, her man popped the question and she is officially a bride-to-be!

    I just about lost my shit when I found out. I was at a party with Che when she sent me a captionless photograph of herself and her now-fiance. In it she is flashing the ring. It took me about three seconds to realize what it meant and I started screaming, I was so happy! Everyone around me looked at me like I was crazy, including Che. I told him what was happening and thankfully, since he knows MexiBestie and knows how much she means to me, he was able to explain the situation to everyone while I continued to thoroughly freak out.

    My reply to the photograph she sent was as follows:

    I’m freaking out right now!!!!
    Everyone at this party thinks I’m nuts!
    I can’t even!!! Fyyyyyyyck
    Those are supposed to be u’s

    I’m so happy, I’m gonna cry!!!!
    Can you post it so I can freak out on social media? I’m seriously about to lose it!!!

    Geeze. I can report that I have composed myself since that night and am now looking forward to seeing her next weekend when she returns to Dallas! I want to hear all the details about the proposal, find out what she wants her wedding to be like, catch up on other aspects of our lives, and somehow try to convey how much love I have for her and how thrilled I am for the future she is building. She is amazing.

    Family and friends are everything, are they not?

    I hope that everyone finds the happiness that surrounds them. Send the universe your love and let it know that you are working on being joyful. It will reward you and help you out. Be happy for those you love, let their joy be yours as well, and vice versa. Come on, get happy.

    May everyone have a wonderful week!

    Life beckons

    How do I even begin? Ugh.

    Last week, an old friend of mine, one that I met in middle school and remained friends with until high school graduation, passed away after battling ovarian cancer. We met because Rosa was friends with my friends, so we fell into the same crowd back at J. L. Long Middle School in good ol’ East Dallas. Honestly, I was intimidated by her, which was ridiculous because she was actually one of the friendliest girls I could have met, and although I felt that we had little in common, she let me be her friend. I will be forever grateful for that. There is no doubt that the rest of my school days, all the way up until graduation, were filled with much laughter because of the friendship we shared. She was a hoot. There is a reason she was voted “Most Spirited” in our graduating senior class. She certainly earned it!

    [sigh]

    Sadly, I had no idea she was sick, and so I never offered her words of encouragement during her fight. I never extended my love to her. It was not until after she passed that my sweet mother, who is friends with hers, called to tell me everything. My heart sank, my mind raced to places it has not gone to in a long while, and I wept. What the fuck. What the actual fuck.

    My thoughts are still all over the place, but the one that continues to reverberate resoundingly is, “This is not okay. This is not okay.” She was my age, so young. Selfishly, I think about all I feel that I have left to do and experience, and then I hope with all my might that she was fulfilled and at peace. Would I be? If I were to die right now? What is it exactly that I have left to do and experience? I do not put much value into marriage, nor owning a house, nor making a vast amount of money, nor any of that cookie-cutter bullshit. I certainly do not want children. What do I want?

    What?

    So here I am, contemplating everything. Just when I thought life was smooth sailing, I am once more trying to rediscover myself. Am I being my true self? Am I nourishing my mind and my spirit? Am I orchestrating the perfect path towards my own happiness? I am in control, right? Maybe not of external circumstances, but I am in control of how I react to them. Although I cannot predict what changes or situations I will be forced to face, am I at least controlling all that I can and doing so in such a way that makes life what I want it to be? Am I adulting okay? Life is obviously not guaranteed and much too short to be fucking it all up all the time.

    Oh yes, life is short but mine is also simple, if only I change my perspective. I can see that I certainly have had things pretty darn easy throughout my thirty-one years. I have never suffered a tremendous illness nor gone through a medical scare. Thankfully, amazingly, I can say that I have led a healthy life and rarely find myself in a doctor’s office (other than the one I work at, but that’s for creatures much more noble and cuter than me). I have never experienced any traumatic events, either, unless you want to count not making the grade a few years ago (Pfft, that was nothing. I bounced back from that like a total champ!). I have never been a victim of abuse, I have never had anyone take advantage of me, I have never been degraded nor belittled. Hell, I’ve never even been dumped. Lied to, misled, and rejected, sure, but never by anyone I loved or had invested in.

    Still, I know and readily admit that my life is not entirely perfect right now, but it is definitely not in a state of desolation. Not even close. I can deal and live with the present state, no question. So I suppose I may be overthinking matters and being much too dramatic about “finding myself” and such. I have a tendency to do these things.

    Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs actually keeps coming to mind as I continue to type this. Physiological needs, safety, love and belonging, and esteem. Check them all off. I truly am the girl who has it all. I have my health, I have a home and feel financially secure, I am constantly surrounded by people who love me just as I love them, and I have a great sense of self-respect (hence the not allowing degradation, disrespect, abuse, etc. to occur to me). It’s nice! Real nice!

    Again, don’t get me wrong. Not all is perfect. I am not a portrait of ideal health, I am no model athlete, I eat way too many Oreos and drink too many beers. I am not loaded with money, I shop at thrift stores and in clearance sections, my abode is in fact quite humble. The people I love are not always around me, they are not always able to spend time with me no matter how much I try to make it happen, and I sometimes miss them very much. That’s the damn truth. Still… I am good in those areas. Honest.

    And so I reach the top of the hierarchy: self-actualization.

    Self-Actualization needs – realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

    There! I am not crazy, I am not being dramatic, nor am I overthinking. All the questions that I asked myself above are legit. I asked them because I should want to reach my personal potential and continue to seek personal growth. I should want to be the best version of myself and have amazing experiences. I should not only want these things, but need them as well. This is all “normal”, if normalcy even exists. As Jordan Baker said, “It all makes sense. It all makes sense!”

    Lucky for me, my sweet friend Slow J recently recommended a book to me, one that Audible also suggested based on prior purchases: You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. Two endorsements within one month? I had to get the dang thing! I’ve only read one chapter, but the gist of it is that we are all badasses and can live fucking awesome lives if actively choose to do so. Perfect, right?

    That’s not all. Through lengthy conversations that we have shared, my other friend Che has filled my mind with stirring ideas, gotten philosophical on me, and shared his own experiences with self-discovery with me, all of which has also been largely inspiring. Not only that, but he encourages me to head out on the road to self-actualization, tells me not to hesitate, and does not think I am a complete NUT for wanting to devote my time and focus to this. I think it may be because he is also on his own journey… Ugh. I wish I was as helpful to him as he is to me.

    Womp womp.

    Anyhow, all of this has just been the kick in the butt that I have needed to get something going this year. I will likely write about whatever it is I discover, what changes I make, what joy I find. I am being optimistic here, I feel that good things will happen. If not, well… It will be my own fault. I hope that I do not become distracted, nor that I get frustrated and impatient. I hope that I reach new, epic levels of happiness and make others happy as well. I hope this makes me the badass person that I know I should be.

    This could be good. We shall see…

    _________________________

    Rosa, rest easy, you sweet and amazing being. I hate that you are gone, but will always be grateful to have known you. ❤