This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

Oh, what a month.

Last night, a memorial service was held for Beautiful. I was fortunate enough to attend with the lovely Slow J… Gosh, she is just one of the easiest persons to talk to, I am so grateful to count her as one of my friends and to have her on my side. I wish I saw more of her, but school and work keep her sufficiently busy, and I am proud. Although seeing her was bittersweet under these circumstances, having each other there was a bit of a blessing.

I learned much about Beautiful last night from people who knew her beyond the two years that I did. It warmed my heart that she met two of her close friends, both of whom spoke during her memorial, by volunteering with Animal Connection of Texas. This is the same group I have been a member of for the past several years, the group I attend most protests with. I had NO idea that she was once involved with them as well! Of course she was, though. It should come as no surprise.

I go through life hoping to meet other individuals who love animals as I do. It’s easy to love pets, it’s easy to love one’s patients if one works in the veterinary field, it’s easy to express anger when a companion animal is mistreated. I know a great number of folks who fall into these groups, not surprisingly since I work in veterinary medicine myself.

But to go beyond that and volunteer for them, to refuse to eat them, to be vocal about encouraging others to have more compassion towards them, to march around in the nude during the cold winter months (as I found out she did!) in order to make a statement for them? That, to me, is a true love for animals. That is hard to find. We are a small group. In this great city, we have maybe dozens show up for animals at our demonstrations. She was one of them, though.

I found her.

And now she is gone. I hate it.

I wish I had known her longer. I wish I had spent more time with her. I wish I knew these facts about her before so that we could talk about them. I wish she would bake more banana nut bread with apple sauce in place of eggs for me. I wish I could share more cheeseless pizza with her. I wish for so much, and it makes me feel selfish at times.

So, I decide to give.

I will give back to the world and honor Beautiful by volunteering with a local group called Foundation 45. Their mission statement is as follows:

We’re here to start a conversation to break down the stigma and reinforce the strength and connectivity in our community.

We’re not your typical suicide, addiction and mental health awareness group.

We’re musicians, artists, Deep Ellum neighbors looking to support those struggling with mental illness, suicidal thoughts, addiction, depression and anxiety. Foundation 45 funds the Interlude 45 Support Group, free group counseling supervised by Licensed Professional Counselors in Deep Ellum. We also provide support services for those left struggling with the collateral damage of losing a loved one to suicide.”

My first meeting with them is scheduled for Saturday, July 8th. By my own admission, I do not believe I have much to offer in the form of conversation. As I have stated before, I myself have never struggled with these issues. Life has been a bit of a breeze and when curveballs have been thrown my way, I have always either knocked them out of the park or come back up to the plate immediately (with help from the most amazing support system a girl could ever hope for). I can simply tell myself to dust it off and keep going. I know I cannot tell or expect others to do the same. Quite frankly, I have no idea what to say, really.

I am going through with it regardless, however. I will contribute what I can. This may mean helping more in the backscene, but it will be helping nonetheless.

Also, after learning of Beautiful’s involvement with A.C.T., I am motivated to continue to be involved and participate with them more frequently than I currently do. The animals need us. I know it, and she knew it. That is why she fought for them.

I was recently at a rally for social justice and a speaker announced that we may not live to see the results of our efforts, just as others before us have not survived to see the change they struggled for finally take place. Change takes time, the work is arduous, the impact is gradual. I am happy Beautiful lived to see Ringling Brothers shut down, I bet she loved it, I bet she was overjoyed. She will not see other results now, but who’s to say that I will? I have to simply keep going. She would encourage that, I trust. I really do. ❤

That is all I care to write for the moment.

Love your friends. Express your gratitude for them. Nurture your friendship with them.

Live fast, die slow.

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Come on, get happy.

Brace yourselves. I am going to ramble my way through this one because it is all too much!

Once again, I have sent my cues out to the universe and in turn, it has taken my signals and delivered what I needed.

In my last entry, I wrote about wanting to become more involved with the Texas Humane Legislation Network. I did not hear back from them, which is not too surprising since they have their big annual conference happening in less than two weeks. I am sure the folks running the show are preoccupied as of lately and unable to tend to position requests. No matter, though, because I am officially in their directory and will simply await future opportunities. I am not too worried about it.

Still, life came through and gave me a more immediate endeavor to pursue. The volunteer coordinator at Operation Kindness (the animal shelter I volunteer for) sent out an email last week asking for members to sign up for new committees. One committee will be dedicated to reading to children who visit the shelter, the other will focus on event/creative planning. I replied to her email to express interest in both and bam! Just like that, I am a committee member! Our first meeting is scheduled for Saturday morning and I am too pumped about it. Helping kids and being creative? Two things I love!

Yaaaas.

Matters are also well in the professional realm, I can gladly state. Last week, Bossman and SE (again, she is my friend, but also happens to be my supervisor) informed me that I was selected to participate in a special event being held by our company.

Let me back up here.

I work at an animal hospital. This hospital is one of over 700 nationwide that are owned and operated by a corporation. This corporation sponsors a local minor league baseball team that happens to be an affiliate of my beloved Texas Rangers. Pretty cool, right? Okay. So, as a token of their appreciation for the sponsorship, the Frisco RoughRiders (i.e., the aforementioned minor league team) have invited local hospitals in our corporate network to nominate employees to attend a private batting practice at their stadium…

Yup. I was chosen! The sports fangirl in me is absolutely stoked. The hardworking employee in me is humbled and honored. This is going to be fun. The date is set for next month, I will be attending along with SE, and I cannot wait. Wow. Sometimes, when such things fall right into my lap, I feel that I have all the luck in the world. Wouldn’t you?

But enough about me.

There is no denying that I am happiest when the people I love are happiest. One of the most important people in my life, someone I love very dearly, is my best friend, jokingly nicknamed MexiBestie.

Oh, what a month she’s having!

Less than two weeks ago, her younger sister gave birth to a beautiful little girl, making MexiBestie an auntie for the first time! I typically do not think newborns are cute. They usually look a hot mess, in my opinion. Oh, not this little one. I am not kidding when I say that she is precious – she has the cutest hair, dark and already full, along with a tiny, adorable smile. MexiBestie is beyond herself and totally in love with the baby, it’s so sweet. I am getting a kick out of how obsessed with her she is, it is so entertaining, especially since I have totally been in that position and was a whackadoo myself. Haha. But seriously, what a joy for her entire family!

It gets better, though.

Ugh, how can I express the greatness of the following news?

MEXIBESTIE IS ENGAGED!!!!

That’s right. During a weekend trip to New York City, her man popped the question and she is officially a bride-to-be!

I just about lost my shit when I found out. I was at a party with Che when she sent me a captionless photograph of herself and her now-fiance. In it she is flashing the ring. It took me about three seconds to realize what it meant and I started screaming, I was so happy! Everyone around me looked at me like I was crazy, including Che. I told him what was happening and thankfully, since he knows MexiBestie and knows how much she means to me, he was able to explain the situation to everyone while I continued to thoroughly freak out.

My reply to the photograph she sent was as follows:

I’m freaking out right now!!!!
Everyone at this party thinks I’m nuts!
I can’t even!!! Fyyyyyyyck
Those are supposed to be u’s

I’m so happy, I’m gonna cry!!!!
Can you post it so I can freak out on social media? I’m seriously about to lose it!!!

Geeze. I can report that I have composed myself since that night and am now looking forward to seeing her next weekend when she returns to Dallas! I want to hear all the details about the proposal, find out what she wants her wedding to be like, catch up on other aspects of our lives, and somehow try to convey how much love I have for her and how thrilled I am for the future she is building. She is amazing.

Family and friends are everything, are they not?

I hope that everyone finds the happiness that surrounds them. Send the universe your love and let it know that you are working on being joyful. It will reward you and help you out. Be happy for those you love, let their joy be yours as well, and vice versa. Come on, get happy.

May everyone have a wonderful week!

And the time, such clumsy time

I think I may need to slow down a bit. These last few weeks, I have become a bit of a social butterfly, accepting invites to just about everything, having my weekends planned in ridiculous advance with little room for wandering. It may be getting a little out of hand…

Last Friday night, I got very inebriated on what was meant to be a quiet night of drinks with a small group of girlfriends, but turned into a long night of cab rides, a random house party, interesting strangers, and drunken actions that I do not remember (and would likely regret if I did). My friends have actually filled me in on all the details that I do not recall. Why do these people keep hanging out with me?! Man. No more double IPAs for me. And no more accepting shots from friends.

Anyhow, this past weekend was more mellowed out, thankfully. The gals (they keep hanging out with me) and I made a trip to Oklahoma where we stayed in a beautiful cabin for a weekend of both relaxation and adventure. There was a lot of talking, as you can imagine. Plenty of venting and emotional pouring and mind spilling. We related to one another, gave each other advice, and expressed our love and admiration for each other. It. was. wonderful. I needed that. I am overjoyed that from my failure a few years ago came these marvelous friendships that I strongly cherish and hope to keep forever. It’s funny how life works itself out like that.

At some points during the trip, I admit, I stopped both talking and listening in order to let my mind wander. My brain started calculating and brainstorming, selfishly ignoring whatever was happening around me. The thing is that lately – all month to be exact – I had felt that I lacked the desire to do. Do what? Do it all. Create. Learn. Grow. Help. Move. I knew that I was lacking inspiration, motivation, and energy and I was desperate to find it anywhere I could. So there I was in the middle of nowhere this past weekend, being reminded that life is as beautiful as you allow yourself to perceive it and as simple as you decide to make it. What more do I need than a lovely and peaceful life to do things?

I need time.

That’s the next step: delegating time to what is most important. I do not have to have to a full calendar to feel that I am truly living. It is okay for me to politely decline invites. I can do what I want and only what I want. This year is almost one-third of the way through. In the words of Jimmy Eat World, “If not now, when?” Oh. Listening to For Me This Is Heaven is definitely what I need right now. Thank you, music.

LOLs

Today, I have laughed and laughed. Laughter is the best medicine, especially when you share it with others. It also warms you up, agreed? It is so nice to be surrounded by people who share my sense of humor. People who can laugh with me make the best friends. I can laugh with Dustin all day, which is probably one of the reasons why our relationship works. I love that guy.

All I want to do is laugh. If you make my laugh, I will love you. If I can make you laugh, I will be happy.