Fine. Be winter.

It’s so close, y’all. Oh so close.

Spring. Warmth. Joy. 

No dresses today since the weather is cold, wet, gloomy, dreary, and uninspiring without relent.

The weekend, though? Highs in the 70s. I am planning my outfits already! Bare legs, bare shoulders, bare heart!

Please hurry to me, weekend. I need you.

As for you, Texas… I love you so much. I don’t think I could ever leave you.

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Here comes the sun.

The weather here has been absolutely gorgeous, it has been everything I have needed to keep a clear mind and a peaceful existence. I have been dressing for warmth, wearing less layers, feeling less weighed down. Give me this always, Universe!!!

Look, there is something about my legs.

When it is below freezing outside, you will find me completing my runs, however long they may be – 3 miles, 10 miles, whatever – in running shorts with my legs entirely exposed. I feel so confined in pants. I have been told that I just haven’t found the right pair, that I may need to see running pants as an investment and pay extra bucks for “high quality”, but I call bullshit. I just do not like them, end of discussion. They restrict my range in motion, I am limited, and I cannot handle that. I need my range in motion.

One night last month, Che and I went to a show in my old East Dallas neighborhood to see a band that only he, out of all my friends and acquaintances, has also heard of. The weather that day had been pleasantly warm, but I was fully aware that once the sun set, temperatures would drop and covering up would be necessary. Meh – I wore a dress anyhow, sans tights underneath, and simply threw a jacket on (my arms aren’t quite as tough). We ended up parking several blocks from the restaurant where we had decided to do some pregaming, and Che became needlessly concerned for my comfort when we got out of his car to start walking. In actuality, all I wanted was to dance through the streets, boogie my way towards our destination, to let my legs loose with the freedom that a few extra degrees on the thermometer had afforded them. I felt good.

I have continued to feel good, because we have not had much of a winter. Oh, how I dreaded this winter, without my pup and having to finish out my lease (Updates #2 and #3 coming soon!). The weather has stayed reasonably warm for the most part, however. Lately? I have worn nothing but dresses, let my legs roam free, save for when I am at work and when I am running. It has been lovely, I have been lovely. As it turns out, I had little to dread at all.

———————

Last night, my best friend and I (after watching the new Fifty Shades movie LOL) enjoyed patio time at a bar in the neighborhood that I will be moving to. We updated each other on our personal lives (so much can happen in the nine days you go without seeing one another), but mostly discussed how we both want to approach the current state of our country.

The election of Trump has motivated her to become more involved and active, which I must say makes me happy. Silver lining, y’all. There has been an awakening, people are angry, people are learning how they can make a difference, and they are doing it. We are doing it. I know what we are capable of, I have seen Southwest Airlines drop SeaWorld after we protested outside their headquarters, Ringling Bros is no more after years of protests at their shows, Dallas Animal Services received more funding after showing up and speaking at city council meetings, resolutions and platforms were passed and adopted at our state Democratic convention. There is power in numbers and persistence. Nobody can deny that.

Bestie asked me for guidance in fighting the fight. I am inviting her to every meeting, every round-up, every rally. We have already attended a few events together, and that piece of shit hasn’t even been in office for a month. We shall do good together. I could not be more grateful to have her as a best friend, nor could I be more proud.

After having enough to drink, we closed our tabs and made our way back inside the bar and out the main entrance. Quiet. Calm. Peaceful. Surprising for a Saturday night – a very nice one at that. We walked about fifteen or twenty feet and passed a gate to a residential entry. I pulled my phone out to open an email I received from the leasing office just after I had been approved for my place. The address (my address) in the email matched the address posted on that gate. You see, the property is made up of ten buildings in the area, and although I had an idea of the general location of mine, I could not point it out with certainty. That was it, though. No doubt anymore.

I looked up at my beautiful new building, looked around at what could potentially be my view, and once again became elated. Once we looked around enough, we headed back to Bestie’s car, a walk that I am sure will become very familiar to me and my friends. Can… not… wait.

———————

In short, my year is off to a wonderful start. I feel empowered, inspired, admired, and loved. When moving is out of the way and I have settled down a bit, my intention is to become even more busy. I have resigned from volunteering at Operation Kindness since it will no longer be a short walk from where I live. As much as I will miss it, my plan is to volunteer at the Humane Society instead, which will also mean seeing my other best friend Cent (she is the assistant director there) more frequently. I absolutely hate the saying, but two birds, you know?

And of course, there will be plenty of work to do for the disenfranchised. Ready for it.

So take that, seasonal affective disorder! You are not getting this gal. Daylight Saving time will begin one month from today, spring will follow shortly thereafter, the threat of winter weather will continue to decrease, the days will get longer, and I will be even happier.

Yes. Here comes the sun.

Update #1

This year is off to a promising start.

I have been approved for my new place, a place that allows pets, including big dogs! The location is perfect, only two miles from my job. I can either run to work or take the bus when I am lazy (let’s be real – I’ll be riding the bus! haha). A short walk from my place, the transit center stands, giving me the ability to get to just about anywhere in DFW, including downtown Dallas and home to East Dallas.

There are at least three or four nearby parks. The one closest to me holds concerts and salsa (as in the Latin dance) classes in the summer. In the fall, it hosts Shakespeare Dallas productions. The larger park, the one I have to cross a road to get to, holds the largest Fourth of July and Oktoberfest celebrations in the metroplex.

There is an abundance of retail spaces on the ground level of all the buildings in the area. A couple bars, several restaurants – including a pizzeria and a bakery that each have vegan options on their menus! – cafes, a yoga studio, you name it. The whole area is very dog-friendly, pooches allowed on patios and such.

Another short walk away is the town’s convention center and theater. I am already eyeing a health expo to be held there in April.

Y’all, I am going to be walking everywhere! If I ever find myself bored, I will likely just march myself downstairs and outdoors, stroll around, and see what is going on!

By the way, my apartment is on the second floor, which means below me, there is not a residency. It will be retail space. I am going to stomp around (as I do with some of my home workouts) as I please! Hopefully, there will be no noise complaints!

I have mentioned dogs a couple times. Did you catch that?

I AM ADOPTING A DOG!

That’s a post in and of itself. Soon.

I hope everyone is off to an amazing start this week. Much love!

 

Bye, buddy.

The day arrived.

Of course it would, it was a given, one thing I could always be certain of. This day would come. I am fortunate and thankful that it took sixteen years. Still, that does not make the pain any easier to withstand. As many years as I got, it could never be enough. No finite amount of time could be sufficient.

I had to say goodbye to the love of my life, my buddy, my constant companion, my sweet boy, Canelo Dog.

In all honesty, I always feared that the time leading up to the decision would be awful, that I would be unsure and hesitant, that I would be too damn emotional to think clearly and do what was right. Oh, but that pup. I mean, he was simply perfect, right through the end! One look at him that morning and I knew. There was no doubt in my mind that our time together had come to its end.

He was ready. My perfect pup had to leave me.

I held him, and with tears streaming down my face and his soft face resting in my trembling hands, I said, “Okay.”

I told him that I understood and that it was okay, that he could go. I thanked him for being such a tremendous source of happiness, for always putting matters into perspective, for being my priority and making every damn mishap in my life seem trivial in comparison to him. I let him know that he was a good boy and that I loved him. I loved him more than anything.

I tried to assure him that I would be all right, although I knew that it would take a while for me to get there. And again, I repeated to him that I loved him.

It was a beautiful morning, almost as perfect as he was. The kind of morning that would have led to us taking longer walks than usual. Fuck, I already miss my walks with him.

Dammit.

A few days earlier, it had become pretty apparent that we were nearing the end, and so I group-messaged the five most important ladies in my life.

  • Mom (One of two people who let me keep Canelo; I was sixteen years old then)
  • My cousin, Ellie (aka Canelo’s wonderful petsitter)
  • My three closest, dearest, absolute best friends…
    Wizzo (bestie since elementary school)
    Cent (bestie for ten years, first friend I made when I moved back to Dallas, animal rescuer extraordinaire)
    MexiBestie (fellow member of the veterinary medicine field, knows well how these matters go)

They know me best, they knew my bond with Canelo best, the first three have known my boy since he was a puppy. All five would know the right things to say, they would be solid support. I could not keep news of such a life-changing event from them. I had to let them know. 

Their sweet responses did not fail me. Of course.

I decided to message them again that final morning,

We are saying goodbye today. I love you all so much!!!

I could feel their hearts breaking for me and I could feel their love. It was the push I needed to be brave. They were all I needed and even though they could not physically be there with me, I felt the comfort of their solace and sympathy. I will be forever grateful to them.

I am also grateful to the countless people who have taken the time to write sweet notes to me via Facebook and text messages. Since that day, I have been posting daily photos of my pup as a sort of tribute to him. So many friends have taken the time to write such sweet words of encouragement and console.

Some that have moved me the most:

What a beautiful relationship you both will ALWAYS have for each other. You raised the bar on how to love and care for our furbabies, especially as they grow older. Much love to you and Canelo Dog, Daisy. You’ve done absolutely everything right by him

Oh Daisy, I’m so sorry. Seeing your posts about your sweet old man loving his walks and celebrating yet another birthday warmed my heart. It hurts like hell when their soul finally outlives their body. Those memories you share though will be with you forever. 💕

Oh Daisy I am so, SO sorry to hear this. Carlo (14 yo) and I have always looked up to you and Canelo Dog as the epitome of human/doggie bond. I’m hugging all of my crew but especially Carlo a little bit harder tonight. Hugs to you my friend.

So sorry for your heartache, so happy for his beautiful life. What a lucky guy to have been your dog.

What an amazing and wonderful life he had! I can only be so lucky to have my pups as long, and to have the amount of love for them that you have for Canelo. Truly a beautiful example of the human animal bond and what it means to love a dog.

When I think of well-loved dogs, I think of Canelo Dog.

Are my friends not incredible? How awesome that Canelo and I have inspired others! I had no idea, but I am happy for it. And I am glad that my love for him showed, that it was evident that he was my everything. What more could I ask for? I cried when I read those comments, but I smiled as well. Honest.

I also asked that friends make donations to the Humane Society of Dallas County in memory of Canelo Dog. I hope that they did. I hope it helps his legacy live on, through whatever critters the money ends up helping. Wouldn’t that be great? His life would continue to matter, just as it always has. It always will, though, regardless.

You know what else has brought me comfort? Work. I went back the following day because I felt the urge to be around dogs. I realized almost immediately after I lost him that for the first time in over twenty years, I do not have a dog. My heart broke a little more when my mind came to this awareness. I wanted nothing more than to hold and hug a dog, which is exactly what I was able to do at work. It is what I am planning to do again tomorrow. Thank you, job.

Ugh. Time to watch The Walking Dead and not care nearly as much about who dies as I would have before I lost my pup.

Thank you for reading. Hug your critters. Love them, be patient with them, forgive them. They’re animals and that is why we love them, right? Be grateful for all the moments with them. If you are feeling generous, donate to the Humane Society.

With love.

14717306_10109045441000604_314471000556781236_n

Day off.

I am basking in this seemingly perpetual warm weather. Just absorbing it, and all its energy. It makes me smile, it makes me want to dance. This is why I would hesitate to leave Texas for a new playground. It is close to late October, but it feels as though summer is just getting started. I know that this will likely end soon, but I am grateful either way.

Life is funny. Life is movement, life is change.

As one friend is in the midst of planning to move to Colorado, another has booked a flight for me to help her move back from Colorado. I am so proud of them both, for doing what is right for them, regardless of the challenges, despite change not always being easy. I mean, in a few months, I intend to move just a few blocks from my current home and that seems overwhelming enough. I cannot imagine moving states, leaving the places you have called home for years, and starting over, really. I am impressed by those who make the leap of faith. I would never do it – not as long as Mom and Dad are in Texas. 🙂

So I may not be moving too much physically, but I am progressing in my journey to becoming the best version of myself I can be. I have joined an online community of like-minded individuals who believe in creating the reality that we want to live in by harnessing the energy that surrounds us. They have already taught me much about meditating, energy clearing, and crystal healing. So far, it is all working well for me. I feel an ascension happening. I cannot wait to continue to learn more and become better able to control all that I can. Why did I not try this sooner?! Seriously.

Actually, in related news, I will be guest-hosting the live stream talk show that is usually hosted by the leaders of the aforementioned community I joined. To say I am excited is an understatement. My hope is that in hosting the show for a couple nights, I will be able to inspire others to be joyful, give solid advice to those who ask for it, and simply make more friends. This will be good, I can feel it.

This is an abbreviated post. There is not much else on my mind. Believe me, though, there are huge decisions to be made shortly – like in the coming weeks – and there is no denying that I will likely pour my soul out here when the time comes. Fair warning.

Oy. I just received yet another notification on Facebook. Freaking Facebook. Here is where this post takes a turn.

Have I mentioned that I am back on Facebook? I did it because I am an activist. That itself is not the issue. The true issue is that Facebook is the media that so many use to communicate with others, including the animal rights and rescue groups that I volunteer and advocate for. I was missing out on events, updates, and pleas for help, which was not cool at all. So I reactivated it. I’ll tell you what, I am just about ready to nix it again until this damn election has passed. I myself have not participated in the prattle, but it is difficult to avoid reading the discourse of others. To put it simply: #overit.

Meh.

And another thing since this is the reason I got a notification: I appreciate being tagged in National Veterinary Technician Week posts today, but not really. Come on, we deserve more than one week, right? And we don’t do it for the praise and material rewards, do we? One week of shout-outs and gifts and free food from colleagues means little to me. It almost feels forced. Do it more randomly throughout the year and I might be more moved.

You know, what I do love is getting “thank yous” and hugs from clients year-round. That’s sweet. I love cats who purr when I pet them and pups who wag their tails when I give them a treat. I love when a client’s face lights up because they see me, recognize me, and are happy that I happen to be working on the day that they brought their critter in. That’s what I love. That’s what makes me happy.

Did you know that a client let it be known that he is single and interested in me? I should tone down my charm, eh?

I need a haircut. Toodles.

Thoughts on a Thursday night.

I gave a guy my number.

He asked me for it, and made sure to use it the very next day, a good thing since I myself wouldn’t have known how to proceed. I haven’t given a guy my number in seven years. This is new to me once more, just as it was when I was a young(er). Whoa, man.

It has hit me like a ton of bricks that I do not know how to date. Color me clueless. The last time I did, I was in my mid-twenties. I am now in my early thirties, a somewhat different person with a significantly different outlook and entirely different expectations. The truth is, I don’t want to date casually. I do know that much. What a waste of time and energy. If shit is going to happen, then it will happen. The effort I am willing to put in will be minimal, just like it was with the fella, way back in 2009.

He made it so easy. He asked for my number, he texted me every day, he asked to spend time with me, he asked me to be his girlfriend, he told me was falling in love with me. All this within two months. EASY. That is how it will have to be with any new potential relationship. Who bothers with wondering and playing the guessing game? Not this gal. Gross.

New Guy will have to be direct and not keep me guessing.

If anything, though, I am happy about this development because:

  • I am noticed, I can attract.
  • I was approachable.
  • I wasn’t trying. I had not noticed this guy until he was right in front of me dancing to Frank Sinatra.
  • I did not have to text him first. I was not even given the chance to think about him first, let alone be the one to initiate the messaging.

Go Daisy, right? For real, though, this will likely not go anywhere. Hahaha. Okay by me, honestly. I still live with the fella after all, and this could only lead to awkwardness, something I would very much like to avoid. Awkward situations were my thing ten years ago – not so much anymore. So hooray for me, way to go, but let me get back to just doing my thing for now, mmmkay?

My thing right now continues to be just becoming the best version of myself I can possibly be. I am becoming my happiest self as well. It is impressive how much happier I am since exiting a relationship that had become both draining and stressful. My inner spirit is so much more positive, hopeful, joyful. Also, I am damn proud of myself for being bold enough to walk away from a situation that was not adding to my joy. No settling here, folks. Now, at least once a week, I am tempted to share with anyone who will pay attention: I am so happy!

It’s the truth. I am so happy.

Happy Daisy days.

There is more news to share, by the way!

MexiBestie is moving back to Dallas! It is happening: I am getting my best friend back. Oh, life: there you go giving me exactly what I have asked for once more. You are amazing. It has been almost a year without her and that was long enough! Thank goodness her fiance lives here, it works to my advantage! Thank goodness her job made moves for this to happen, including re-imagining the territories she manages. This is incredible. Oh, man, it would have been so nice to have had her here when The Breakup happened. Ufff. Ah, well. I am getting her back soon and that’s all that matters!

In other news, no pretty way to segue into this, I am reading a new book, E-Squared, by Pam Grout. The premise of the book is that there is an energy field all around us, and we are perfectly able to harness that energy to create our own reality. There is a series of nine experiments that readers are to perform in a span of twenty-one days to prove this to themselves. I am currently still reading background information, a few explanations here and there, and the author’s own testimony. I am hoping to start my own experimentation soon. Stay tuned! This could get exciting!

I will likely not read tomorrow, however. I have been granted a four-day weekend with tomorrow being the first of my days off. Am I the luckiest gal or what? My plan is to ride the train to downtown Dallas and wander about the Dallas Museum of Art for a while. Lately, I have been absorbing just about everything that could possibly benefit me and so, I want to surround myself with beauty and allow it to inspire me. I plan on packing some art supplies and my camera to see what happens (until I get hungry). Then, a visit to my Mom’s and my Grandma’s will follow since they both live near downtown. Homecooked vegan Mexican food, here I come!

Does that not sound lovely? I am very much looking forward to tomorrow. What a wonderful way to live!

Be blessed!

Come on, get happy.

Brace yourselves. I am going to ramble my way through this one because it is all too much!

Once again, I have sent my cues out to the universe and in turn, it has taken my signals and delivered what I needed.

In my last entry, I wrote about wanting to become more involved with the Texas Humane Legislation Network. I did not hear back from them, which is not too surprising since they have their big annual conference happening in less than two weeks. I am sure the folks running the show are preoccupied as of lately and unable to tend to position requests. No matter, though, because I am officially in their directory and will simply await future opportunities. I am not too worried about it.

Still, life came through and gave me a more immediate endeavor to pursue. The volunteer coordinator at Operation Kindness (the animal shelter I volunteer for) sent out an email last week asking for members to sign up for new committees. One committee will be dedicated to reading to children who visit the shelter, the other will focus on event/creative planning. I replied to her email to express interest in both and bam! Just like that, I am a committee member! Our first meeting is scheduled for Saturday morning and I am too pumped about it. Helping kids and being creative? Two things I love!

Yaaaas.

Matters are also well in the professional realm, I can gladly state. Last week, Bossman and SE (again, she is my friend, but also happens to be my supervisor) informed me that I was selected to participate in a special event being held by our company.

Let me back up here.

I work at an animal hospital. This hospital is one of over 700 nationwide that are owned and operated by a corporation. This corporation sponsors a local minor league baseball team that happens to be an affiliate of my beloved Texas Rangers. Pretty cool, right? Okay. So, as a token of their appreciation for the sponsorship, the Frisco RoughRiders (i.e., the aforementioned minor league team) have invited local hospitals in our corporate network to nominate employees to attend a private batting practice at their stadium…

Yup. I was chosen! The sports fangirl in me is absolutely stoked. The hardworking employee in me is humbled and honored. This is going to be fun. The date is set for next month, I will be attending along with SE, and I cannot wait. Wow. Sometimes, when such things fall right into my lap, I feel that I have all the luck in the world. Wouldn’t you?

But enough about me.

There is no denying that I am happiest when the people I love are happiest. One of the most important people in my life, someone I love very dearly, is my best friend, jokingly nicknamed MexiBestie.

Oh, what a month she’s having!

Less than two weeks ago, her younger sister gave birth to a beautiful little girl, making MexiBestie an auntie for the first time! I typically do not think newborns are cute. They usually look a hot mess, in my opinion. Oh, not this little one. I am not kidding when I say that she is precious – she has the cutest hair, dark and already full, along with a tiny, adorable smile. MexiBestie is beyond herself and totally in love with the baby, it’s so sweet. I am getting a kick out of how obsessed with her she is, it is so entertaining, especially since I have totally been in that position and was a whackadoo myself. Haha. But seriously, what a joy for her entire family!

It gets better, though.

Ugh, how can I express the greatness of the following news?

MEXIBESTIE IS ENGAGED!!!!

That’s right. During a weekend trip to New York City, her man popped the question and she is officially a bride-to-be!

I just about lost my shit when I found out. I was at a party with Che when she sent me a captionless photograph of herself and her now-fiance. In it she is flashing the ring. It took me about three seconds to realize what it meant and I started screaming, I was so happy! Everyone around me looked at me like I was crazy, including Che. I told him what was happening and thankfully, since he knows MexiBestie and knows how much she means to me, he was able to explain the situation to everyone while I continued to thoroughly freak out.

My reply to the photograph she sent was as follows:

I’m freaking out right now!!!!
Everyone at this party thinks I’m nuts!
I can’t even!!! Fyyyyyyyck
Those are supposed to be u’s

I’m so happy, I’m gonna cry!!!!
Can you post it so I can freak out on social media? I’m seriously about to lose it!!!

Geeze. I can report that I have composed myself since that night and am now looking forward to seeing her next weekend when she returns to Dallas! I want to hear all the details about the proposal, find out what she wants her wedding to be like, catch up on other aspects of our lives, and somehow try to convey how much love I have for her and how thrilled I am for the future she is building. She is amazing.

Family and friends are everything, are they not?

I hope that everyone finds the happiness that surrounds them. Send the universe your love and let it know that you are working on being joyful. It will reward you and help you out. Be happy for those you love, let their joy be yours as well, and vice versa. Come on, get happy.

May everyone have a wonderful week!

Pay up.

I have been thinking, as I tend to do at the most inopportune times, I have been thinking about breakups. It seems as though when breakups happen, the primary focus is usually diverted to the dumpee. That person, the blindsided one, the heartbroken one, the one who is hurting. The articles written, the advice that is out for the taking, the demonstrations of sympathy – they are directed at that individual.

What about those who do the “dumping”? What an awful term, by the way. I don’t feel that I dumped him, like a load of waste just needing to be taken out. I mentioned before, I love the fella. I want to remain his friend. Maybe some people do get rid of trash when they break up, but that is not what is happening here, I assure you. Can we call this something else?

At any rate, I am the one who terminated the relationship. How about that as a title: The Terminator? I am the bad guy, right? The heartless one. The one who gave up. The one who will go about her life and simply move on. That’s not so, believe me. Although I know I did what is best, it sucks to know that I have hurt him. I carry a certain guilt with me regarding the whole situation. I have caused sorrow. Dammit. I also carry a degree of dread. I dread that eventually, we will not be friends. He will banish me from his life permanently, and then will certainly deserve to be called a dumpee.

Que vida esta.

I owe it to myself to be happy, though. I truly believe that. I am decent enough of a human being to deserve happiness, I think. More importantly, I hold this role of being what matters most to Arturo and Imelda. Did you know they are so selfless in their position as parents, that they put my happiness – and that of my brother – before their own? They are such wonderful people and they deserve to live happily, more so than I do. But, if their happiness depends on mine, then, fuck – I have no choice but to be happy. For them if anything else.

It’s as simple as that.

Be happy, Daisy. And do not feel guilty about it. It is owed.

Oh my gosh, my name is so pretty. Even when it is typed out. Daisy. Yet another thing to thank my Mom for! 

I will tell you what is making me happy at the moment. On Friday, I celebrated three whole years as a vegan. Woot woot. That is approximately 600 animal lives I have saved through my diet alone. I have also indirectly consumed about 657,000 less gallons of water than the average person on the average American diet (raising animals for food requires a ridiculous amount of water). I wish I could easily look up how many lives I have spared by not wearing leather nor wool, and also by not using products containing animal ingredients nor that have been tested on animals. It doesn’t matter. However great or small the numbers are, the lives are precious all the same.

Y’all. This feels so good. I love animals with all my heart, I am entirely devoted to them, and I refuse to take my love for them lightly. They are worth living this lifestyle that can be pretty darn inconvenient at times, not gonna lie. I also adore the planet that I live on, twisted as it may be at times, it is still a lovely place that deserves to be mended and preserved.

I should share that I have three friends who have themselves made positive changes recently. Kay has started to make a conscientious effort to eat as little meat as possible, Disa is mostly vegetarian now, and Lindsey has gone vegan. What?! The best part? All three credit me as being their inspiration! I am so proud!

Oh, but as much as food animals tug my heartstrings, I still have plenty of love and time for animals in the entertainment industry, and companion animals as well.

Earlier this month, I protested Ringling Brothers circus yet again, for the third straight year. It is absolutely necessary to educate the public about the abuse those animals must endure, and we have made gains for them in recent years (Ringling elephants and SeaWorld orcas: we did it!). The success we have obtained only motivates me to keep going. Although I am heckled, what I put up with cannot begin to compare to what animals everywhere undergo simply for being animals. How can I not do it?

Now that the circus has left town, I am hoping to become more involved with the Texas Humane Legislation Network. I reached out to them last week and in the application to join, they ask about previous volunteer experience. Mine is as follows, dating back to 2009*:

Looks good, right? I hope they have positions open and that I hear from them soon. I am ready for a new challenge! For the animals!

In closing, I have a recommendation for anyone going through a breakup: Regardless of which side of the breakup you find yourself on, do what makes you happy, do what makes you proud, do what fulfills you. The breakup will seem trivial in the scheme of everything you do with your time and your abilities. If you find yourself in a doomed relationship, let it go. Why give it the energy that you could instead be using towards your purpose in life? You could be changing the world, even if you do so indirectly. You being happy will benefit all, it will bring positivity. Fucking get to it already! The world needs you!

Our time is short. Do not let it go to waste. Do not spend it in unhappiness.

I bet you deserve better. I bet you owe it. Pay up.

*I remain active only in the last three, but all these organizations merit support. Please check them out!

 

Thoughts on a Monday night

Tonight, I have the urge to free-write once more. I am doing so while being distracted by baseball. Bear with me. My mind is everywhere.

Travel

I should be preparing for a trip to Oregon right now; a week-long hiking and camping expedition into the woods. Since early this year, a group of gal pals and I had planned to fly out to the Northwest this month for adventuring and bonding. Life happens, however, and the person who began arranging this excursion, the amazing Slow J, was admitted into Nursing school! Her upcoming orientation and first day of classes caused us to have to move the date of our trip up a few weeks. Unfortunately, three out of six in our group were unable to get the time off from work and so, we have had to postpone Oregon until next year. No matter, though, because we hope to make a quick weekend getaway at some point this fall and… Duh! We are all stupid-excited for our girl!

Oregon can wait. You go and rock the shit out of Nursing school. You are brilliant and talented and kind. There is no doubt in my mind that you have a bright future ahead of you in this new career and I am so stinkin’ proud of you!

This weather, tho.

As much as I love and desperately await the spring and summer seasons each year – because of the warmth they bring, the relief from the frigid winter – my pup and I have had quite enough of three-digit temperatures. The poor boy usually enjoys his walks so much that I struggle to convince him to come back inside. Yes, I have been late to work on occasion because of how stubborn he can be, a trait I forgive since he is nearly sixteen years old. Recently, however? He “takes care of business” and turns right back around, towards our door.

Ugh.

Oh my goodness, y’all. I have the ugliest toes. I haven’t even been running lately, either! More on that in a bit. 

Our walks haven’t really been walks for the past few weeks, and it makes me sad. Especially since it is our bonding time, it is our time together, it is when he is his happiest, his “doggiest”. Watching him be curious about his surroundings, seeing his tail wag as he trots along, observing him as he sniffs every intriguing scent he encounters – I live for it! Lamentably, sweet boy just can’t handle the heat like he could when he was younger.

Lamentablemente is a word commonly used in everyday Spanish speak. Someone make lamentably come through in English.

Well, Mama Nature has decided to give us a break and we are taking our time together back! Highs in the 80s? That is unheard of in the middle of August in Texas! It’s not just for a few days, either. We should be expecting this for the next ten days, according to the forecast. This lady is pleased.

I mentioned my ugly toes. Why is it that I get the urge to start long-running again when the weather is the pits? Last week, I thought to myself,

“I need to start getting some serious mileage in again, maybe lose another toenail. I miss it.”

Yet another reason to hope for more tolerable weather. And just like that, my wish was granted. This world loves me.

Friendships

I finally finished the last of the Oreos that were given to me on my birthday. My friends are hilarious, and they know me well.

My newest friends are also hilarious and are beginning to know me. It will be slightly more challenging for them to get a true sense of who I am – more so than it has been for other friends I have made in the past ten years – with the reason for that being that I deactivated my FACEBOOK account.

I finally did it a few weeks ago, and it feels oh-so-good to be rid of that mess. I was tired of opinions and bickering and bitching and negativity and so-called challenges. I also found myself expressing the majority of my thoughts in tiny bytes of words through status updates – you know, instead of writing in my journal or blogging here. Facebook was simply killing my joy and destroying my creative energy. It had to go.

I kept Twitter and Instagram. If you are on a desktop, you will notice this on the right side of your screen. Ha.

Anyhow, these newest friends will not get to know me through Facebook, through the thoughts that could be put into that status bar, but hopefully they can figure me out and continue to like me.

Bibi finds herself in this group. I met her through Che, not surprisingly. That guy constantly introduces me to interesting people because he freaking knows everyone in this town, I swear. I instantly clicked with Bibi, mostly because of our shared love for the same music artists, and we have been hanging out a bit since our initial meeting.

On Saturday, she and I went to see her boyfriend play in a Queen tribute band, which was quite entertaining, I must say. The guys all dressed up in 80s wear, complete with horrid wigs, spoke with unconvincing accents, and put on a fascinating show. There was laughter, fantastic sing-a-longs, and dancing, of course. It was a blast!

After their set, a group of us hopped on over to a restaurant not too far from the venue for some much needed grub. While we were there, the first game of the Cowboys’ preseason was played on a television not far from our table. I cannot convey the excitement I felt when everyone at our table, Bibi included, expressed interest in the game. Not only that, but they knew their shit. These were not casual fans who were simply interested in the final score and standings. Oh, no. They cared about every position, every stat, every formation, every call, every play. Serious fans. Like… me.

I need these people in my life. Keepers.

The end.

I need to walk my dog before bed. Know that I will thoroughly enjoy this stroll.

Joy to you all. May the weather and life’s circumstances and the world in general all be favorable towards you.

Timing. Changes.

Holy crap.

I may have actually done it. I may have succeeded. I may get precisely what I wanted.

Earlier this year, in the spring, I mentioned wanting to leave the Oncology department that I am currently a member of in order to work in Internal Medicine/Cardiology. That hope has remained present and as luck would have it, last month, I was given the opportunity to work with CardioDoc once more. Wait, no. The opportunity was not simply given to me. I went after it, talked to the right people, was scheduled as I wanted, did get to spend the week in Cardiology, …

… and I crushed it. Even though we were double-booked one day. Even though there were too many doctors working and not enough exam rooms, procedure spaces, nor technical help available. Even though this is not the field I am familiar with nor trained in.

Crushed it.

CardioDoc praised me in the presence of Bossman (the hospital manager) at the end of our week working together and I took it upon myself to tell them both that I would love to work Cardiology permanently.

Let’s make it happen.

Those were CardioDoc’s words to Bossman. I may have pumped my fist afterwards. I am doing so now.

Fast-forward an entire month and Bossman finally told me yesterday that he is thinking about moving me out of Oncology so that I can work in Cardiology for good. Oh, do not tease me so! Please, please make it happen! He said that he needs to speak to the doctors first to make sure they are all on board and agree with this decision. Dude, you already know that CardioDoc agrees, he said it himself. Come on, now.

Ugh. I am trying not to do any preemptive celebrating because this is not set in stone. Also, even if Bossman truly has every intention of making this move, who knows how soon it will take place. There are so many changes happening for our hospital presently – new doctors have started, schedule changes have been made, new software will be installed, construction on a different floor – that Bossman has his plate quite full. My move is not a priority, understandably so. Thankfully, somewhere along the line, I picked patience up as one of my virtues. I will be needing it like none other!

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It feels as though life is entering a transitional phase. The timing seems appropriate, though, given that I have started a new year. I admit, having my birthday come up when it did was something that I initially lamented as I noticed its approach. Now, in retrospect, it was fitting and ideal.

It just felt a bit improper to be in a celebratory mood given that I had just put an end to my relationship. Would he wish me a happy birthday? I did not expect him to feast with me. Would he get me something? It would be the first time in six years for him not to do these things. How awkward. Could I celebrate without him? I was not so sure that I wanted to. What would I be doing for my birthday? I am not the type to plan something for myself. That is just weird.

Welp, Hoolie ended up planning a small gathering just a few nights before my actual birthday. It was lovely, it was joyful, it was needed. She invited friends that we share, friends that she has introduced to me, friends that we have made together, and, of course, the friend who introduced us to one another, Che. We had drinks, shared stories, laughed, danced, played Giant Jenga, played skeeball, and I even got to open several gifts. Just lovely!

We were out all night, but before the the party was over, we took a group photo and in looking at it, I realized that those beautiful people had not known me for very long at all. The longest relationship I have with any of them is with Che, whom I met in late 2014 when I interviewed for my current job. That’s it. Less than two years! Yet, there they all were, on a Thursday night, celebrating, showering me with presents, enjoying life with me. I felt so darn special. I also can’t help but feel proud that even at my age – I turned 32! – I am still creating and cementing new friendships and relationships.

Aaahh, it’s such sweet success.

The following night, my beautiful friend Slow J took me out for a one-on-one dinner date. I can tell that girl anything and everything, no judgement passed, no disapproval, just unwavering support and well wishes. I was able to divulge the details of my breakup to her; she already knew of my relationship’s recent woes, naturally, since she is one of my dearest friends. She is excited about my newfound “freedom”, she told me that she predicts that marvelous things will happen to me, and she assured me that I will undoubtedly work wonders with my time. She is such a sweetheart. I love her. It was nice to spend that time with her.

My birthday finally arrived a couple days later.

The fella did end up wishing me a happy birthday. He even gave me a card and a gift. Believe me when I say that he is truly a great human being. Would you be shocked if the person you just broke up with did these things for you? I was not. That is who he is.  I wish I did not have to end it. I wish it could have worked out. Such a bummer.

This is part of the undergoing transition, from being someone’s significant other to being single. From being in a partnership to being out on my own. Me: single. For the first time in nearly seven years. It’s almost surreal. Scary, even?

Again, the timing of my birthday ended up being perfect. I received so many loving messages – from friends, my parents, my cousins, aunts, uncles, former coworkers, current coworkers, former classmates, online friends, district Democrat friends, activism buddies, former clients. People thanking me for being Daisy, expressing gratitude for having met me, praising me for what I do with my life, conveying admiration for me. Geeze. Way to boost a girl’s spirit when personal matters are getting a tad bit tricky! To top it all off, I had a family birthday lunch gathering at my Grandma’s house complete with a little vegan cake, singing, and birthday candles. Damn.

I am so loved. And I know it. I treasure every single bit of love that is bestowed upon me. I have to. It’s invaluable!

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It is difficult to say what the coming weeks and months have in store for me. My gut is telling me that there will be an interesting mix of positive and negative. It is also telling me that it will not be more than I can handle and that I will remain happy through it all. I tell myself that timing is everything. Che tells me that the only constant in life is change.

Maybe we are all correct?

There is only one way to find out…