The heartbreak from being a doggie mom

Yesterday, I started crying halfway through my morning walk with Canelo. You see, it was his fourteenth birthday. My sweet boy is older and as excited and proud as I was about wrapping up yet another happy and healthy year for him, it hit me that the older he gets, the less time I have left with him. The thought of life after Canelo absolutely terrifies me and shatters my heart.

He has been a constant in my life since I was just sixteen. This year, he was by my side when I hit thirty. He’s been by my side for the most volatile years of my life. I cannot imagine changing as much in the future as I did between 2000 and now. Canelo has been my companion through it all.

He let me squeeze him when I was overwhelmed by his cuteness, he allowed countless tears to fall on his little head every time I was distraught, he kept calm even when I came stumbling back home after drunken nights, he waited patiently for me when I got home late or could not take a study break, he snapped me out of funky moods just by perking his ears and wagging his tail, he has been my inspiration to work hard and be myself.

I will never be ready for these moments to end. I know that I will be utterly lost and feel insanely empty the first day that I wake up without him. I guess, for now, all I can do is try to make every day a great one for him and to enjoy his friendship and presence. I just love him so much.


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