Towards the end

We are finally in that post-Halloween period when I feel I have nothing to look forward to other than the arrival of spring. Last year and the year before, I kept reminding myself that I had the end to look forward to. Dustin’s birthday on December 29th, our anniversary on the 30th, and New Year’s Eve on the 31st.

Things have not looked so promising this year.

First of all, several days ago, celebrating his birthday and our anniversary were both events I was going to remove from my calendars. I broke up with the guy, not because I was being brash and overly dramatic, but because I felt that I truly needed to. I would rather not go into all the details here, but I will state that overall, things just did not feel right in our relationship. Then he wrote something that I truly wish I was not thinking about right now because here I go feeling angry about it again…

[pause]

That just pushed me over the edge and I was done. Then he kept trying to talk to me even though I was refusing to reply to his text messages. That got annoying. Honestly, I think the main reason I even agreed to talk to him was because I wanted to get things off my chest. It wasn’t because I wanted to work on things, really. Still, I have so many feelings and emotions invested in him that I thought it would be worth it to give our relationship another try.

It’s weird. That’s all I will say about it.

Anyhow, as of now, I do have his birthday and our anniversary to look forward to, as well as six crazy weeks of work. I have actually taken to twitter to complain about how much I’ll be working. Silly me.

Yes, I will be exhausted; yes, I would rather spend time with the people/critters I love; yes, it’s going to be brutal. I have to spin these thoughts in a positive direction, though, and so I am left thinking this: I am a bad ass. Plain and simple. Only bad asses can handle everything I have going on without falling a part just a bit. Right? Right.

Even bad asses need their sleep, however. Off I go!

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