Every now and then, it hits me just how much I love Dustin. I love him for being who he is, but I am also hit with just how much he loves me, and I love him even more for that. Almost three years into our relationship and he still tells me that he loves me multiple times throughout the day. He wishes me sweet dreams each and every night. Sometimes, he tells me that I’m gorgeous and that he is proud of me. It’s an amazing feeling, knowing that a person who was a complete stranger throughout your entire life has grown to love and cherish you in a relatively short amount of time. I hope he realizes that I feel the same way about him and that my life is better because of him and because I am in love.
It’s a gloomy day today. The sun has not made an appearance what with low clouds hanging about. After running a few errands this morning and early afternoon, I now find myself at home wanting to simply relax. Relaxation will be hard to come by these next few months as I will be training to become an on-call technician. What this means is that every other week, I can be called upon to go to work after-hours if there is an emergency. After-hours are as follows: weekdays after 4PM and weekends, of course. So in just over an hour, I have to be glued to the phone in case I am needed.
This will go on through December, I believe. Oh dear.
So, I can’t really bring myself to relax now that it’s almost four. I’m working on laundry and may read for a little while. Two nights ago, I realized (through Facebook) that several friends have watched the film adaptation of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. As a result, I started to read it again. It has been an interesting re-read.
When I first read the book, I was a lonesome 19-year-old girl whose closest friends all lived miles and miles away due to her being in college. All the boys I crushed on had girlfriends who I thought were much cuter than me. I didn’t know how to do my makeup and I hated my hair. I was quiet, but observant. I focused on school and sleeping and was hardly social at all. When I did have time to spare, I wanted to listen to music, make the best mixed cds, and read as many books as I possibly could. That was my life and it was the reason I related to the characters in Perks so well, even if my experiences were not as extreme as theirs.
Reading the book again takes me back to that time and I remember why I was so happy to have discovered this literary masterpiece. I am halfway through it now and I am actually even happier to have rediscovered it. Perspective. I do realize that I have really made my life happen and have long left my awkward teenager phase. There are times when I feel dissatisfied with things, no doubt, but I am pleased with the person I have become, the relationships that I have built and kept, and the way I spend my time. Honestly, I feel very accomplished and look forward to the future as much as ever. Such progress!
Incidentally, if you haven’t read the book I’ll inform you that it is written as a series of letters that the main character writes to a friend whom he does not even know. A stranger. The way it was written inspired me to blog because I felt that, in essence, I would be doing the same. Telling my story to anonymous strangers only it would be via the world wide web. It became therapeutic for me to write and I have been hooked ever since, although I do not write as much as I originally did. I guess I really have grown. Less “therapy” is now needed.
What a day. What thoughts and what memories. Thanks for reading.