The decision was no. I can not stay. I tried, but it wasn’t enough.
The most immediate thing that I have to do now is find a job. After that, start thinking of how I am going to get them to accept me again. I have some ideas, but they’re not concrete.
When the decision was final, I was calm. I was in the middle of texting Dustin when I received the call so he was the first person I told. I am still calm. This is a setback, sure. A major setback, but it’s not the end of the world and it’s not the end of my dream either. I’m still dusting myself off and probably over-analyzing everything that went wrong and led to my fall, but I will be okay again.
To be honest, I am looking forward to being back in Dallas and to have free time again. This gives me the opportunity to enjoy life again, something that I haven’t felt that I’ve been able to do since school started. Of course, I’d rather continue with school, but I have to look on the bright side. There is good that will come out of this.
So that’s that. I’m heading to Dallas later this afternoon. I’ll have to come back to move everything out of my little apartment, but that can wait until later this month. I’m ready to be home now. I’m ready to smile again.