Can’t stop!

Seriously, I deactivate facebook and now I can’t stop blogging or tweeting! This is good, though. I would much rather blog than update my status or post links to this or that on facebook. Actually, the majority of the time I was on facebook, I was only being nosey. You know… Reading others’ posts and looking at their pictures and following drama along and so on. Quite stupid.

I blog during adversity. This is a trend that I first noticed years ago, when I still blogged on myspace [I keep telling myself that I need to figure out how to export those posts onto this site, but I never bother to do it]. My “spills” are the most thoughtful and longest of posts. All my posts are honest, but I am a lot more transparent in times of trouble. I let it all out.

It’s funny, isn’t it? How troubles never stop coming? You think you have dealt with it all only to be hit with another massive punch. It’d be foolish for me to believe that this is the worst that is ever going to happen to me. Oh, far from it, I’m sure. Life has more in store for me, without a doubt. I just have to allow myself to continue to grow. I have to know that I can manage my way through the hardship, no matter what else is going on around me. No matter the world, no matter the people in it, no matter my loneliness, no matter how abandoned I feel.

I bought a book, probably two years ago when I was actually happy, called Bounce Back. I must have known that I would need it someday. Again, life isn’t pretty all the time. A lesson I had already learned and one that I am continuing to learn. It’s being beaten into my pea-brain! When you’re falling, dive, says the book, the quote credited to Joseph Campbell. Dive. Plunge.

It’s easy to be your strongest, highest self when things are rolling along smoothly. But how you handle life’s setbacks and traumas reveals your authentic character. If you can be strong during challenging times, then… well, you truly ARE a disciplined and spirited person. And this identity makes you not only a very cool person but a very happy person.

Don’t you just love books? Like music, they always have the words that I need, when I need them most.

So I wasn’t strong or disciplined when challenges presented themselves to me during the semester. Son of a biscuit, eh? But there is no point dwelling on the past, not unless I’m conjuring up plans on how to avoid repeating my mistakes. It is time to be a forward thinker. Forward. Carry on, carry on. I am going to be strong and I am going to be happy. Nothing and nobody can take my happiness away unless I allow it. Dammit, I am not going to allow it. No way, no how.

I know how amazing I am. It’s nice to have people tell me that I’m amazing. Cent, my parents, my brother. It’s even nicer to tell myself that, though. I am an amazing person. I deserve happiness. I am going to keep smiling and helping and dancing and loving.

And I’m gonna go to a Rangers game. I am. Michael Young is Mexican.


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