My current state

I just want to be held.
I want to be loved.
I want to be romanced.
I want to feel needed.
I feel that everything in my life is falling apart and I don’t know how I’m going to come out of it.
I’m the definition of a loser, I’m losing so much.
I have ruined things.
I want to fix things, I really do.
I need to fix things if I’m ever going to be happy again.
I feel that my happiness isn’t in my own hands.
There is only so much I can “control.”
I’ve never even had control.
How do I fill this vast empty feeling in me?
I don’t want to feel so lost.
I love him so much, but I’ve been bringing him down.
I’ve been so terrible.
I worked so hard to get where I am, only to ruin it in a matter of weeks.
I have never been so disappointed in myself.
I want redemption.
I need the opportunity to redeem myself.
I want my Dustin.
I want to make him happy again.
I want us both to be happy again.

I had it all.

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